quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
