I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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