Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize