it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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