Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
