first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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