this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
