Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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