Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he thought i was a dude.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
