You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Mom said you looked used
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
