A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
