yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
