So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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