Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
