I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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