Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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