wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
