Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I wear drunk well.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
