You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I need a burrito and a hug.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
