She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
