Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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