you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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