we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
