Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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