Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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