My nipple is on Facebook.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
