well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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