he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
