I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
