I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
