Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
