I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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