I bet he comes in French.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
