don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
