i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We just shotgunned beers for America
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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