Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Green mimosas i think yes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
