for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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