Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
