it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
