Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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