im gay
i know
yea but for you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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