If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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