a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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