I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
