Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
