I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
