why didn't you poke me back
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
