At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
His nipple licking is glorious
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