she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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