if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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